The Cat in the Hat


Topcat and crew were still relaxing and taking it easy. They had looted so much treasure from the Estupido Grande that they did not need to raid now. Topcat and Panther decided to visit their friends Sandy the dog and Patches the cat. Panther was particularly enamored of the lovely hats they had. Over tea she complimented them. "Those hats are quite lovely I wish I had got one myself when we were in Paris."

"Well we do have a ship capable of sailing the seven seas of space and time."said the good Captain Topcat.

After a few days spent getting ready for the trip Sandy and Patches arrived early one morning. "Wake up sleepy heads." Paul the pirate rat said to Panther and Topcat. "Your guests are here!"

Thus the CatAvenger once more went into action back to Paris in the year 1793. the CatAvenger sailed right up the Seine river into the heart of Paris.

Sandy and Patches led the way down the narrow Parisien streets while Panther and Topcat followed. They were quite surprised when they found the hat shop all boarded up. Panther was about ready to break down the door when a voice called out to them from a narrow alleyway. They saw a pathetic looking thin grey cat beckoning to them. Investigating they went down the alley Topcat leading, sword drawn. "

"Put that away. I am on your side. My name is Duchat." The small cat said. "I recognize these two as the ones that bought the hats two weeks ago."

"My human Annette De Rosia was taken away by the revolutionary committee, just because she made hats for Marie Antoinette. They would have already executed her except somebody stole the Guilotine!" Upon hearing this Topcat winked his one big green eye at Panther who just chuckled.

( * CLICK HERE - This is what happened to the old guillotine -warning not for the faint hearted- Hint a certain terrorist won't need a hat! - Then just click BACK BUTTON to return to story thanks* )

"It's not funny!" Duchat complained they have a new guilotine and will surely behead her soon. "Oh no they won't I want my hat!" Panther roared.

"Shhh," The little cat said, "you will bring the revolutionaries." Sure enough a dozen armed men appeared in the alleyway. They were mere humans and of course were no match for the cats and the valiant dog Sandy. Topcat showed the men mercy and did not killed them, only clawed them up good and left them lying in the alley.

Duchat the cat told them that his human was not being held in the Tuileries but instead was being held several miles away in a local jail.

Topcat, and Panther along with Sandy and Patches followed as Duchat led the way to the jail. The thin Duchat along with Patches easily slid through the outer bars of the jail. Topcat managed to squeeze through and Panther handed him his sword through the bars. Panther and Sandy were to big to fit through so waited and kept watch of the alleyway.

Once inside Topcat showed Patches how to pick the locks using her claws "It's a trick Spooky taught me he explained."

They went from cell to cell calling for Annette the cells of this jail were mostly empty. Those that held prisoners in them they opened and freed the jailed ones. They finally reached the last cell but when they opened it they found it held a mob of drunken peasants and Annette holding them at bay and defending her honor with a hat pin she had hidden. Seeing Topcat and his catpanions the rabble turned and advanced on them.

In the allyway Panther was getting quite impatient. "What is taking them so long?" She asked Sandy.

"I sure don't know but I am tired of waiting." The valiant dog replied. Then looking at the bars then back at Panther ask "Do you have any C4?"

Panther replied. "No, but I have some plastic explosive even better that. Engineer Spott and Tiberious cooked it up. Luckily they caught Shel before he ate it thinking it was bubble gum. It's almost silent when it detonates." While she was speaking she had been puttng the plastique up along the window sill. The daring duo ducked down as it detonated. with a soft "pop." The two scrambled through the opening and down the the corridor only to find Patches, Topcat and DuChat confronted by the peasants.

"Shoot them Topcat or use your sword." Said Panther. Topcat however was reluctant to shoot mostly unarmed peasants. One of the peasants then picked up poor DuChat and held a wicked looking dagger to his throat

"Ouch!" The peasant yelled dropping the cat. Annette had poked him in his posterior with a hat pin. With that the heroic cats and dog were galvinized into action and waded into the rabble biting and scratching.

None were killed but alot were bit up or poked with a hat pin! The critter crew then retreated to the safety of the ship.

While Topcat's group had been busy the crew had cleaned out the hat shop and loaded the contents into the ship.

The CatAvenger sailed on to Montreal.There the CatAvenger crew used some of the loot they had gotten on previous missions to set up a nice hat shop for Annette, soon she was able to outfit not only Panther but the whole crew.

Eventually she had one of the largest hat companies in the western hemisphere. Soon it was making millions and of course The CatAvenger crew as well as Sandy and Patches had stock in this enterprise! $$$

Epilogue:

Sandy and Shel the cat's butler were sitting together reading the story. "All's well that ends well my dear Shel. With the money we make from the hats we can eat steak everyday!." Sandy said.

"Still there seems to be something lacking. Even though Panther got her hat it does not seem like you,and Patches had much of an adventure.... Maybe it's just me but this adventure didn't seem that thrilling." Shel said.

Just then Patches, Topcat and Panther arrived. "Oh, don't let Shel fool you." Panther said. "He had a crush on Annette but then Patches found out something that quashed his hopes."

"Yes."Patches continued." I was looking over some of Spooky's genealogy records only to find that Annette is or perhaps I should say was, Shel's great, great, great great, great. grandmother!"

"Oh she was'nt that great!" Shel replied.

"Thats the spirit Shel. Love 'em and leave 'em." Topcat said." Oh by the way she did leave you this present"

They laughed when they saw the look of dismay on my face. Sandy and Patches took pity on me and give me the real present. "You have a Topcat, she thought you needed a TOPHAT!"



Sail on to the next tale - PIG DEAL

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