| Since the holidays the CatAvenger and crew had not been up to much. Most of the crew had been on vacation spending their ill gotten gains. However the engineer Mr. Spott and a few helpers had been extensively
modifying the ship. They had just finished when they got an e-mail from their friend Wicci.
After reading it Captain Toronto decided to sail to Idaho to help his friend Wicci. "I know you are a great sea captain but Wic's printer is printing green you are not a printer repair cat." Captain Toronto's daft servant Shel said.|
"Nevertheless she is our friend and we always do what we can to help our friends." Toronto replied. As the brigantine CatAvenger sailed up the Snake river into the wilds of Idaho Shel cowered below decks. "You can come up Shel." The feline captain called down the hatch. I will protect you from any Snake river snakes we may encounter." Once on deck and assured that there were no snakes Shel eagerly scanned the shore line for potato trees.
Captain Toronto said he had something very important to do and he left Spike the sea dog in charge. Spike had served as bosun and many other positions on board the CatAvenger and was most qualified. "You have the con Mr. Spike don't disturb me until we reach our friend's house."
"Aye Cap'n Toro." The sea dog replied saluting.
Captain Toronto doing something "important."
Soon enough they arrived at Wicci's house and the crew valiantly tried to awaken Toronto from his important nap.
Larry the lion even tried wrestling Toro awake but the captain knocked the poor lion out with one punch and went right back to sleep .
finally the ship's cook Tiberious and his wife Terry came with a sliced chicken pie and Captain Toronto awoke.
Once in Wic's house Captain Toronto along with his engineer Mr. Spott, the one who seemed most qualified to fix a printer went inside. They started the printer and it printed out -
"Ach, I know how you wee middens repay your debts..." Spott answered. "What I would like to know is how you got stuck in a printer?" Captain Toronto asked.
The little guy explained that he was bored living in Ireland so he stowed away in a shipment of printers that were being shipped through Dublin but after he was inside a printer he got stuck.
Captain Toronto agreed to return the leprechaun, (who said his name was Shaun,) to Ireland.
Once on aboard the CatAvenger Shaun the leprechaun got seasick and began vomiting even though the ship was sailing very smoothly. Toronto got mad and ordered Shel (the ship's human) to take the leprechaun back to Ireland by airplane. So disguised as a child Shaun boarded the jet with Shel bound for Dublin.
Just before the plane landed Shel had to use the restroom when he came out Shaun was gone. Shel being a total idiot as usual didn't ask the stewardess for help until it was to late. Neither Shel not the stewardess noticed a skinny blonde woman leaving the plane carrying a large purse that was squirming in her grasp. Poor Shel was worried that Captain Toronto would be angry with him for losing the leprechaun Shaun so he decided to turn to someone he knew could help. Shel called Snowball now living quite well in retirement on Shelcat cay.
Snowball convinced Shel that he must let Captain Toronto know what had happened. Snowball also said he would intervene to keep Shel from being clawed up.
Sure enough with Snowball's intervention Shel was saved from a good clawing. Captain Toronto agreed that he should not have sent a silly human to do a cat's job. He knew that the only thing to do was to use all of his resources to try to find the missing leprechaun.
The first thing Captain Toronto did was to contact the CIA (Cat Intelligence Agency.) They were able to easily hack into the airport's security system and access the digitally stored camera files. "Look," Captain Toronto said pointing at the TV screen. There in living color they could see a skinny blonde struggling with her handbag. Just for a moment they saw a tiny hand reach out before the young woman cruelly punched her purse and shoved the leprechaun firmly inside. The CIA was able to identify the woman as the heiress Pilton famous for...well... basically just being famous.
"I don't see how you can find her to find the leprechaun, her family owns the Pilton Plaza motel chain and she travels all over the world and stays in them." Snowball spoke; " there are thousands of those Pilton Plazas worldwide."
Captain Toronto found that Ms. Pilton was engaged to a noted eccentric the rockstar Amadán. "He is a collector of all manner of strange things. What better thing to give someone who collects oddities than a leprechaun for an engagement gift?" The feline captain asked rhetorically.
Captain Toronto outlined his plan to infiltrate the compound of Amadán. "I would say to present him with a talking cat but we are not really novelties even though the ignorant think we are."
Toronto put his feline mind into thinking of a way to get into Amadán's compound...
Amadán looked out one evening to see a beautiful sight. A huge wooden cat sat in front of his compound. In front of it was a large banner that said; "a gift from your fans."
Amadán could not resist the beautiful feline artwork and ordered it moved into his compound.
Later when it was dark something inside the wooden cat stirred to life... "This better work," Captain Toronto said to engineer Spott.
"Aye it will work we only need to be able to wheel this wee beatsie down to the lake the Cat Intelligence Agency satellite shows in Amadán's compound."
With that Spott pushed some buttons and the wheels on the platform the wooden cat sat on started up. He steered it toward the lake using a view screen attached to a hidden camera to see where they were going. With a splash the giant wooden cat rolled into the lake front first. The back opened and a select squad of commando cats lead by Captain Toronto lept out.
As soon as the wooden cat was in the water completely the Spott pushed a button and it's sides fell away. The brigantine CatAvenger it's "magic" now fully activated by the water was now revealed in all her glory. The brigantine's rail guns and laser cannon immediately began firing.
As planned Amadán's staff of body guards ignored Toronto's squad and started shooting at the ship. This allowed Captain Toronto and his group of cat commandos to enter the house unhindered. They made their way through the house unlocking cages full of all manner of strange creatures freeing them.
"Have you seen a leprechaun?" The captain asked a pink elephant he had just freed. The elephant pointed his trunk and Toronto and company took off in that direction. Captain Toronto was the first to burst into a large room only to find Amadán holding the leprechaun and pointing a Luger at his head.
"Drop it,"Toronto said, "you haven't a chance, just let him go and you have my word you won't be harmed."
"No chance eh," Amadán sneered. "I have just radioed my men to stop firing on your ship and return here." Your pathetic crew are out numbered and out gunned."
Just then the leprechaun Shaun bit Amadán. "Ouch," Amadán screamed dropping the pistol.
"Ach you should not have gotten close enough for me to bite." Shaun gloated.
Captain Toronto and his commandos looked on in horror as Amadán changed into a large potato.
Shaun picked up the Luger and radio which Amadán had dropped. He tossed the pistol to the Captain saying, "heres a souvenir." Then the leprechaun perfectly imitating Amadán's voice ordered the guards to retreat.
"Thank ye for saving me once more." Shaun the leprechaun said. "Now if you will be doing me one more favor and be lifting that potato for me I would like it to plant in me garden."
The CatAvenger transported the leprechaun (with his potato) back to Ireland. Quite a few of the denizens Toronto had freed from Amadán's compound went with them. Shaun invited them to live in his country. So if an Irishman tells you he has seen a pink elephant don't just blame it on the grog!
Thanks to Wicci and Abycat for their ideas and to Ferret for the spellcheck! ; )