Captain Topcat and Panther had made enough money from their raid upon the
treasure ship Estupido Grande. They had not needed to engage in any pirate
activity. So so they had either been relaxing onboard their ship the Catavenger
or on their island hideaway Shel Cat Cay. Panther and I their servant Shel were quite
content with this state of affairs. Captain Topcat however was getting restless
and was ready for some adventure. That was why he was happy to see an Email
from an old friend the Easter Bunny ( A.K.A. the Passover Rabbit.) "The EASTER
BUNNY!!!" Panther shouted,"Ha, ha, ha, you joker Topcat there is no Easter
Topcat replied. "In a way you are correct my dear Panther. There is not an
Easter Bunny as such but through the centuries there have been hundreds of them.
Each one picked by the previous as he or she retires. Surely you have seen a
picture of me taken years ago with my friend the Easter Bunny?" "Oh that scruffy
looking hare was the Easter Bunny? I thought it was some bimbo you met at the
Bunny Ranch?" Panther questioned.
"Well I admit that Trixie isn't the cutest rabbit around and as it turns out
she isn't the greatest at finding a replacement, because the latest Bunny is
just too darned small to do all the heavy lifting and hard work that is required
for the job. I am sure that she will grow (quite literally) into the job but
right now she needs our help." The Captain explained.
"Oh no Top, if you wanted to steal something or get in a good fight I would
be there at your side but this helping out stuff we have been doing lately is
for the birds!" Panther complained.
"For the birds? Don't you mean for the bunnies?" Said I, Shel trying to be
helpful. Panther glared at me while Topcat winked his one green eye at me.
Grinning he replied to Panther. "Oh Panther I guess you don't have to help
but that's ok. It leaves more candy for the rest of us who do help."
"Candy! Candy!" Panther exclaimed. "What's this about candy?"
"Oh, just that for helping out we get a reward paid in candy, mostly catnip anchovy candy thats all."
Replied Topcat with mock innocence.
PANTHER & FLOPSY EASTER BUNNY
That settled any doubts that Panther had, even I wanted to go along on this
trip if candy was involved. As we sailed to Eldorado the Bunnie's base Panther
pondered on what candy, religious holidays and rabbits had in common and why
they should be involved with one another. "Its a conspiracy," she muttered, "and I
bet the dentists are in on it to."
"As long as we get our cut of goodies who cares?" Asked Topcat rhetorically.
"At least we aren't getting paid in carrots like the bunny."
We sailed to Eldorado and we met his old friend the former Easter Bunny.
Trixie had been called out of retirement to help the new bunny, Flopsy.
"Thanks for helping Toppy baby, the bunny said you are a dear." Said Trixie.
"No I am a cat." The Captain laughed, "and you are as bad at being an Easter
Bunny as ever my old friend." He said hugging her. "Oh I know thats why I took
an early retirement I am far too young to quit you know," said the vain rabbit.
"So" said the ever practical Panther,"You want us to help deliver stuff like
we did for Santa?" "Oh, no that's not it at all. Sorry if you misunderstood."
Said Trixie. Flopsy nodded her head in agreement as Trixie continued. "We don't
deliver candy the old fashioned way like Santa. We do it by magic, with a magic
egg, all we need to do is is whisper the magical spell and the egg transports
us all around the world producing candy on the way."
"But here is the problem." Flopsy continued the story. "It's been stolen and
is being held for ransom, we are supposed to deliver ten tons of candy to this
island." She handed a map to Topcat. "Unfortunately we don't keep any candy in
storage. There has never been any need since we can magically produce it. So you
see we need you to steal the egg back for us."
"Hey, that's more like it we are pirates not delivery cats." Said Topcat.
"Wait a minute." Panther interjected. "Why can't they just use the egg
"Oh its a magic egg Panther, they don't have the magic spell to make it
"Oh ok then," Said the pirate cat we can certainly steal something no
problemo." So the crew set out to the coordinates on the map Flopsy had.She
insisted on going along. Soon we sailed up the the isle on the map.
Topcat Panther and Leroy the Lion had devised a plan. Panther would lead the
crew hauling boxes to simulate the candy. However these boxes held weapons and
some even held the smaller crew members. A particularly big crate held Captain
Topcat. The boxes had been cunningly devised by engineer Spott to break open
easily from the inside. They left only a few us including Flopsy on board the
ship which was anchored in the water just off shore off the isle. The valiant
little bunny however did not want to stay. After she had heard what Topcat's
plan was the Easter Bunny who really dislikes violence was quite upset. So after
Topcat's group had left and she thought none of the crew were looking she jumped
over the side of the ship easily leaping the distance to the shore. She had not
noticed me coming out of the galley right behind her with a cup of hot chocolate
in my hand. I saw her just as she leapt off the rail. I ran and made a grab for her.
But all that happened was that I spilled the scalding drink on myself. Leaping
myself in pain and off balance from trying to catch the bunny. I, the ever
graceful Shel fell in the water and was washed on to the shore by the incoming
tide. I got up just in time to see the bunny vanish into the jungle. Panting I
ran after her. Out into a clearing where we quickly captured. Captured by huge
Topcat's party meanwhile had left the boxes at the place marked on the map.
Those who had carried the boxes withdrew as they had been instructed. Those
inside the boxes waited and kept on waiting nothing came to get the crates.
Topcat was about ready to give up when his radio crackled into life. It was
Minty the monkey, "Sorry to break radio silence Captain but you better get back
we have big problems!"
Big was right the ants that captured us were huge. It seems that the monkey
had been on watch in the crow's nest. He had not seen us go over the side but had
spotted us in the clearing being captured by the large bugs.
The crew rushed back to the ship only to meet with a large ant that had
arrived at the same time. Panther drew her saber and was about to behead the
beast when it held up a picture. The picture showed me and the rabbit tied up
and held as hostage. "We want candy. You tried to trick us. We can smell those
crates held no candy just dirty old cats and other beasts. Bring us candy or we
will eat the rabbit and that silly human instead."
Left with no choice the CatAvenger sailed off...
Tied to a post high on a hilltop the spirits of the Easter Bunny and I fell
as we saw it saw it sail off. "I sure hope they don't discover how to make the
egg produce candy. "I whispered to the bunny." They apparently don't know what
it is for." I nodded toward the large brightly colored egg that was sitting
nearby. "Oh, if they had only asked nice I would have given them all the candy
they wanted. But since they are so mean I will show them." Said the irate
rabbit. The egg popped open and brightly colored candy poured out. the greedy
ants rushed over and started eating. Soon after they keeled over flat on their
backs legs in the air. "What was in that candy DDT?" I asked the bunny.
"Nothing that cruel the rabbit replied. " They are not candy at all but candy
coated sleeping pills!"
It was a good idea but unfortunately the pills worked to quickly and as the
the remaining ants saw their comrades fall they backed away from the so called
candy only to advance upon us. Although perhaps hundreds had fallen, there were
still several hundred remaining. Those that were left began to advance upon us.
Their antennas waving in anger.
The CatAvenger and crew meanwhile had sailed off into the mists of time and
space in search of a way to stop the ants without harming the Easter Bunny and
I. They met with Trixie to see if she could help. "You know Toppy baby whatever
you do has to be non-violent. Easter Bunnies can't be part of anything violent,
if you recall that's why we broke up." Panther had begun to get jealous of the
rabbit. She grinned in delight saying, "yes that's why he got a real woman like
Meanwhile back on the island...
The poor bunny and I squirmed in our bindings helpless trying to escape.
While the ants came on getting smaller and smaller as they advanced. "Wha... wha
what's, going on?" I stammered in confusion, (my usual state of affairs.) I heard
a familiar chuckle Panther appeared her claws easily freeing us from the ropes.
"Panther thank goodness." I stammered.
"Yes Shel we have been gone three weeks." She grinned.
Rubbing my sore (now unbound wrists, I looked at my watch in amazement Three
weeks! Why according to my watch they had been gone less than three hours.
"The time travel of course." The clever rabbit said catching on immediately.
She then asked why the crew could not have sailed back in time to before she had
jumped off the ship and warned about the giant ants. While Panther explained the
paradoxes in the time space continuum and why that would not have been a good
idea. I sat down on the ground getting an instant headache, as I always do when
the talk turns to this subject. I was also still confused about how the now
normal sized ants scattered about shrunk. As I thus sat there the crew appeared
armed with tweezers picking up the ants. Then Captain Topcat and engineer Spott
appeared with a weird looking device. "Ach 'tis a shrinking ray." Spott
"Yes and since we don't need it anymore we may as well return it to the
future. If we do at least there will be one less century in which we are wanted
cats," Said the good captain.
"Might as well," Panther replied. It only shrinks things it doesn't make them
grow. Now a giant catnip filled donut I would love to see!"
So you see with the help of the Catavenger Easter was saved. The shrink ray
was returned before it was even missed and the crew was rewarded as promised.
Since cats only liked the catnip anchovy candy they bartered the other candy, (what I did not manage to
hide for myself,) for provisions more fitting for the critter crew. Oh one more
thing, I got a really nice ant farm, and oh yes... the ants in it got some candy.
I would like to thank Cat Stuff for the cat Easter graphics:
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