"Whoever kills a cat in Egypt is condemned to death, whether he
committed this crime deliberately or not. The people gather and kill him.
An unfortunate Roman who had accidently killed a cat, could not be saved
either by King Ptolemy of Egypt or by the fear which Rome
Topcat said Egypt was warm and if they sailed through time they could
go to ancient egypt where cats were revered. Panther said she thought this
was a good idea as Egypt had provided refuge to the Christ child perhaps
they could meet him.
The crew set sail through the mists of space and time in their ship the
Catavenger. A great storm damaged the ship and blew it off course to a
As the crew was making repairs troops of soldiers arrived, ten tigers
three lions and a score of ocelots arrived all armed to the teeth- make
that all armed with sharp teeth!
The troops roared. "Let's kick tail!" Panther purred.
"No," said Topcat. "Although I alone could defeat this pitiful troop I will
not fight a fellow cat unless I must. I will surrender and stall them
while the crew retreats to the ship. If I do not return soon sail without
Topcat was surrounded by soldiers and marched through the jungle to a
city, a kitty city. At length he was brought into a beautiful palace where
he was shown to a banquet table and given a sumptuous feast. After dining
he was brought before the Queen of the Cats. "I trust you have been
treated well," said the fair feline. I am Queen Nefrikitty. " Yes,
although I am not happy with how I was brought her by force. What is this
"I just had to have you here, my magic created the storm that brought
you here to the lost cat colony of
Categypt. I have followed your adventures with great interest. I could
use you by my side as my king. The cats of your crew would be given refuge
and honor. Alas our ancient laws which even I cannot disobey will not
allow the non -felines of your crew to stay. Indeed I had to intervene
with my counsel to stop their execution for trespassing here by
non-felines is punishable by death." You overwhelm me, Topcat replied.
"You both honor me and threaten my crew. As beautiful as you are milady I
must decline you. Surely you know that I shamelessly cohabitate with two
female felines. Really though my life my love and my lady is the sea. My
non-cat crew need my guidance especially that human known as Shel for he
is rather daft."
"Very well," the Queen sighed I will not compel you through force or
magic, for a good ruler should know that even the Queen cannot always have
her heart's desire. However there is a way you can help me and enrich
yourself. If you swear loyalty to Categypt I will grant you a Letter of
Marque to prey upon my enemies' shipping."
Thus Topcat was granted a Letter of Marque and technically no longer
was a pirate but instead a privateer in service of Queen Nefrikitty of
Topcat's Letter of Marque:
Under Authority of Her Majesty Queen Nefrikitty of the Egyptian Cat
Colony of Categypt:
These are to certify that Captain Topcat of Cat Cay. Master of the ship
Catavenger, a free ship. navigated by a mixed crew of God's creatures, including
officers, Spooky Kitten and Panther having applied to me for an Authority to
cruise against all her majesty's Enemies and having received Her Majesty's
Commands to encourage all Her Majesty's Subjects by every means in their power
to distress and annoy the Trade of all Her Majesty's Enemies. And the said Ship
having been duly registered in Her Majesty's Custom House in this province as a
free ship. With the said Ship under command of said Captain Topcat, to cruise
against all Her Majesty's Enemies, and any other shipping Captain Topcat deems
legitimate prey. That Her Majesty will will consider him and them as fully
Entitled to having a just claim to all vessels and property of every kind
which he or they shall make prize from.
Spooky read my manuscript and said , "Panther this Letter of Marque may be a
great Christmas present for Topcat - he may well be a privateer, but..." "Yes, I
know Spooky, the USA , and most of the rest of the world, Paris
Accord of 1856 which outlawed Letters of Marque and Attainder, thus in our
time," I sighed. TOPCAT REMAINS AN OUTLAW A PIRATE!"